in the unusual life of David Truman
As is always true of any great man or woman, David Truman's example is as important as his teachings, if not more so. Every day we are so profoundly moved not only by what David says, but also by who he is, how he lives, how he loves. We wanted to show you what it is like to live with David, so we've put together a week's worth of journal entries from us, his friends and students; some transcripts of conversations David had; and also a few important letters exchanged between David and others. As you will see, his daily life is intense, inspired, and inspiring.
To understand some of what happens in this week-long story, you need to know that for some years now, David has enjoyed an intimate and tangible relationship with various celestial beings. He is devoted to his heavenly friends, and speaks to them daily, asking for guidance, considering how to help his friends and students, or simply enjoying Their wonderful company.
What's more, he brings out God in the people around him -- God in various forms. A number of David's friends and students have had the experience of becoming the Goddess, or the Christ, or some expression of God -- talking as that, walking as that, living as that. In history, there is precedent for this. Mother Ann Lee, founder of the Shakers, would become Jesus for her fellows -- she would speak to them as him; and modern day saint, Amma, regularly becomes the Krishna or the Goddess; Sri Ramakrishna became various aspects of God; Jesus became the Father. And it is an age-old way for the students of spiritual masters to experience an awakening of Divinity within.
This is not channeling, or possession. It is, really, communion with and surrender to God, in the form you can best relate to God. It can only happen as a result of a strong relationship with Divinity, and strong desire to surrender to God. In that, you choose to allow God's love and wisdom to flow through you. In this particular week -- the one we documented -- a relatively new student of David's named Ewa had just begun to experience such an awakening.
A final note: David regularly says things that we recognize as extremely helpful and relevant to the humanity. In the past, we've regretted that we couldn't remember those things well enough to write them down. So now, we keep audio recorders all over the place, so we're always ready to record. Because of that, we're able to give you transcripts of various interactions with David.
A walk in the park with David
Asha: Today was my first day back from Uganda. I arrived last night. David has filled me in on the amazing things that are happening around here. He has met Rabia and Hafiz. They've been relating to him through Ewa. This is huge for David; it has inspired and refined him.
He and I went out and took a walk in the park this afternoon. It was wet and drizzling. Raindrops fell in our hair and on our faces while we talked. David spoke of his sense of responsibility for the things that are happening. Rabia wants to be born in Ewa, and he is responsible for that, for guiding and loving her enough to make that possible. And Carolyn too is being born, and her higher self is gorgeous beyond words. And then, there is Hafiz. David feels responsible for supporting each person's goodness, so that these sublime things can happen.
He was emotional about this. His chest heaved with huge feelings that sometimes welled up as tears. With great passion, he told me how, if he could make Jesus, or the Goddess, or Hafiz happy, it would change everything, because they each have such huge influence in the whole universe. If Jesus is happy, all those who love Jesus get to experience that happiness -- and that is many, in Heaven and on Earth. As he talked, David kept bursting into tears. "Do you see?" he said, "They have a huge black book! So many people who love them, who are affected by them. Never mind saving the humanity, save Jesus! Save Rabia! And the rest will be taken care of." With that, he teared up again.
We paused and looked at the river. "The trees know what they are," he said. "They know that they're God. Human beings have somehow complicated things with their minds, with other ideas, but the trees know it." He looked at me with innocent excitement and joy, waving his hands toward the trees and the life around us. "They just be what they are, express life." Happily, he patted the branch of a small bush, looking at me as if to say, "Do you see it?"
He looked up at the sky with a blissful expression, raised his hands and closed his eyes. He was praying sweetly to God. Tears poured down his glowing face.
Then he spoke about how it's the "little things" that make God happy. Just like a mother, God loves the little gifts of heart that we give. The words of appreciation, the heartfelt gestures. He leaned over and picked up a red leaf that had fallen on the ground, and raised it to the sky. With his heart pressed forward, he offered the leaf to God. His eyes were shining. He stood, poised with devotion, offering his leaf to God. So sweet was his devotion, his emotion. So kind, so beautiful, so innocent.
We continued walking, and then the cell phone rang. Someone was calling to ask for his advice. He spoke with them for a while, and then we drove home, happy and steeped in the feeling of awe and devotion that had poured from David's heart.
"It is my intention to love you"
Letters between Rabia and David
Throughout his life, David has treasured every human being he has met, and has committed to each one as deeply as that relationship would allow. His keen interest in people, and his desire for intimacy and soul communion, is like water in the desert to some. But most people place severe limits on how far they will go into relationship. David has suffered the lack of willingness for deep relating in this world, and has longed to find more people who share his passion for relationship. When Rabia and Hafiz came, he was overjoyed to find two friends so willing to dive head first into the sweet waters of mutual love and understanding.
If only I could sit with you, we would sit and talk and talk and talk, like a couple of old friends that we in fact are. Dear, there have been times more favorable to us, the times when we weren't so much at the edge of what seems possible to people, and therefore it wasn't that unusual to sit and talk unrestricted.
But the times are rough, and a lot of what is natural to people is forgotten, pushed away, trashed. This is not how we would live, this is not what we would be. Your soul is longing for the kind of friendship that I provide -- which is a very raw kind of seeing one another, very raw kind of feeling one another. This is necessary to us.
You see, a lot of people like to cover themselves with something, in order to feel somewhat more desirable. We know that the truth is naked, and it is beautiful. That is why we are both old. We both have heard things that most people tell only to God, and we asked about things that almost nobody else dares to ask. And we both have been annoyed numerous times by the cluelessness of the people, and we have both cried over their souls, and we have both honored and served them. We also both have experienced the purity of heart in many of those who came to us, and we are always in love with it. We both have the longing for more to come, for more of the people to be what they are, for more of them to feel the fire of their heart burning in love for God and for All.
We have seen a lot. We have seen the tears of the people, and we both wanted to wipe them off. We have the same vision of life and we have the same vision of truth. This is some of what we share.
We both know that God is a person. And we both respect It as such. We don't paint It black or white, we just take It. And enjoy It, in all of Its sublime nuances. Love has many colors. All the Rainbow. The Elohim say: "Shed the light on a pure soul, and it will shine in all colors." The lovers of human souls we are. The Elohim, Jesus, you and me. And many more of your friends in Heaven.
Dear one, you are not alone at all.
I greatly appreciate your letter about our friendship, affinity, based on common values/experience. And I know how rare that is.
I believe that there are many other values and persuasions that have captured the hearts of practically everyone. In general, I believe that humanity, as a value, is not what is loved or taught. Rather, I believe the prevailing motive is to direct and develop people in accordance with a set of values that is not, in essence, a value on humanity itself. It is, rather, a way of trying to bring value to beings who, presumably, inherently lack sufficient value. For example: "You could be of value if you were enlightened, or if you served."
THAT, to me, is insanely tragic and old. Similarly, I was taught as a child that making money was the prime indicator of success, or value. That, of course, I could not believe. And I observe that all these other persuasions -- like that of spirituality as generally conceived -- while they may be slightly better, are of the same type -- the same error.
I look forward to talking with you openly, and seriously. It has been virtually impossible to find, here, the real exchange of which you speak.
It is my intention, especially upon leaving this Earth, to throw off, for healing, the weary agony of forty years' meditation on the ego's woes, and seek refuge in pure love. And it is my intention to love you.
A more perfect love
Transcript of part of a conversation between David and the Goddess
David: I've gotten sick and tired of giving imperfect love. Sick and tired. If it is in any way tainted, it's going to deprive. And I'm keenly aware of the fact that I have deprived You by my error. I want to give You something that is worthy of You, you see? The love that You deserve is not so acquisitive. Instead, it is for You. It is a gift.
The Goddess: Bhava, precious one, I'll tell you something: When you speak of the perfect love you wish to give, I already feel kissed by that love. Because your desire is a kiss. A kiss. And besides, I want to be possessed by you. Any heart would feel blessed by being desired so much.
David: Yes, it isn't that I want to negate my desire for You. You know me, I would never negate that. Desire, need, obsession, holding on -- these are all good things. All these can occur harmlessly. And they need to be there, or it's not love. Love is desire. Love does need. Love does hold on. And believe me, I'll hold on to You.
I know there is real love that is full of desire. And I have an idea of what real love, worthy love is. It may be called obsessive, but it's so obsessive that it can't even remember its own benefit. That's the love You deserve. That I will give You.
Letter to a friend
Excerpt from a letter Asha wrote to a friend
David is doing well. He has this look about him these days, like he's more and more transparent. I have felt that before, that he was transparent. But the degree of it is more. When you look at him, you feel like his body has less mass. You feel so many things when you look at him. Regularly people just start crying around him these days. I do, and others do. But, in that, he is also more and more human and accessible. You know David, he would never be willing to become "special."
He spoke last night about wanting to love more perfectly. It really got to me, because to me his love seems so perfect already. Of course, I know he has his faults, but his desire to give a more perfect love was so humble. To see him be so humble, when I know how much he gives, it just really got to me . . . .
Rabia visits David
David can often sense it when a Celestial wants to appear through someone. He can feel it. In such cases, he will usually call on them by name, and they will come. Until this day, Rabia had only been able to communicate through letters that Ewa typed. But on this occasion, Ewa visited David's house, and he immediately saw that she was on the verge of being Rabia. He could feel Rabia's intention to come through, to see him and speak with him, so he called on her, and she instantly appeared.
Ewa: I went up to Anam Cara [David's house] to help Francine with some things. David greeted me at the door as Rabia. I felt very much like myself that day, without any fears burdening my being, so it was easy to allow Rabia to respond through me. We walked around Anam Cara and appreciated the life in the earth, and the landscaping work that was done that day, simply talking about things. I felt huge energy entering my body and I stood there as Shakti, as the Goddess. The power of it was huge.
Hafiz and Rabia move in
Ewa: Both Rabia and Hafiz have started living in the community through me. Hafiz wants to be here and he uses every opportunity to be here. He shows up for people spontaneously and loves them.
A big part of the relationship between David and Rabia and Hafiz is based on the common desire to help people, bring them closer to themselves, to one another, and to God. The desire, especially of Hafiz, to be close to people is huge. I feel his heart jumping toward the people anytime I see them. Hafiz would be at the side of his friend always and forever. He is married to all of his friends in such a deep way. It is the very nature of his heart to be this way.
His sensitivity to others is immense, and so is his respect and adoration of the people. His charm, his friendliness, his way of being a "pal" comes from deep recognition and admiration of the human heart. He is crazy in love. He is like a drunken poet, drunken with the beauties of the Universe. Every single being would bring him to tears and laughter at the same time. His emotional life is unbelievably rich. His response to life is amazing -- he would dance, laughing and crying and singing. He would fall apart at the sight of one of his beloveds. There would be nothing that could hold him together, he is like a river that flows in all directions at once.
A phone call from Hafiz
Asha: One day, shortly after I got back from Uganda, I was with David in the car. I hadn't seen Ewa yet. The cell phone rang, and I picked it up. It was Ewa's voice, asking for David, but she sounded totally different. She felt incredibly steady and mature, like a rock of ages. Entirely different than the mercurial Ewa I've known. I thought she must have grown up incredibly during the two weeks I was in Uganda. "Boy, you've changed," I said, "You sound totally different. I can't believe it." There was a pause on the line. "Well, sometimes things are not what they seem," the voice said. At that point, I realized I had made a mistake. This was probably Hafiz. Surprised and uncertain of what to do, I simply passed the phone to David.
When David started talking, I could tell from their conversation -- typical of two strong, boisterous men -- that it was Hafiz. I burst out laughing. "I knew it!" I said. "I knew it wasn't her."
"Do not give up on your heart"
Dyana: When noon came, I went over to the dining room to have lunch. On the way there, I found Hafiz in the kitchen to greet me! He took me by the hand and led me to the dining room, where he pulled out my chair and sat me down at the table. Oh, how beautiful he is!
Later, Carolyn handed me a letter from Hafiz. Here is what the letter said:
It's been so long for you and I. We are like brother and sister, we go way back. My sister, you have so much passion, and you give so beautifully to your friends and to everyone. Your love is like a river, it flows down and down and down without stopping.
I want to tell you something: do not give up on your heart. It is gigantic when it is purely and beautifully given. You think sometimes that you cannot give it entirely, but my dear, that is not true. Your heart is known to me, and I am listening to it. I see how you feel, and what you want to give. I tell you now, it is truly beautiful. Oh sister, do not hide what you are and feel. I love you. The river inside of you can only flow when you give what is there to be given. So, flow like a river, my friend.
If you like, I can help you live the life you have always dreamed of inside. We can talk about things if you want -- I treasure such things. We can walk together and talk together and get to know each other. I love my friends with great passion and devotion, and so do you. So in that way, we are the same.
I leave you now, but I will not be far. Talk to me anytime, sweet one. I am here.
With love from someone you know,
I felt so known and loved! After lunch I wrote a note back to Hafiz accepting his offer to help me. Then I got back to work, with my head and heart awash with Hafiz's love. I was able to work, but I was still distracted some by the huge relationship that had just presented itself. I felt nervous and excited!
An ordinary day
Asha: Today, David woke up early, as usual, and worked on his latest teachings for the humanity. He is so passionate about liberating human beings. He gets up around 4 or 5 every morning and just immediately gets to work, with a heart full of passion, and a head full of the understandings that he knows will help somebody, hopefully many people.
When he's working, he often won't change his physical position for a long time, because he is so intent. Sometimes I find him in the most uncomfortable position, but he doesn't want to take his attention off what he's working on long enough to get more comfortable.
In the late morning, after working for 5 or 6 hours, he gave a presentation to the community about how God wants to relate to each of us, personally. How God is pressing on us, through every bit of manifestation:
He gives presentations almost every morning. He talks to the people about things he knows will help them, things he knows they need to hear. Generally, one or more people will want to speak to him personally after these presentations, because they feel so affected by them.
After a very intense morning, he normally feels a strong desire to get out and relax. And that is what he did today. He took a drive with me over to Coos Bay, and we had lunch.
The afternoons are less predictable. He talks to whoever wants to talk to him about whatever they need to talk about, giving advice and guidance. He works on creative projects, inventing and designing things -- architecture, furniture, art, web design, and all kinds of other things. This afternoon, he worked on designing a moving floor for our meditation room; and he also designed a perfect camera holder. Sometimes he reads books or looks at things on the internet to absorb what's going on with the humanity. He usually works more on his teachings, too, but the morning is his most intense and lengthy work time.
He also spends time with his human and celestial companions. This evening, he spoke to Jesus for a long time about what the next step is for the people who are being Celestials:
Jesus: I have an idea for the people that may help them. I want you to talk to them, brother, about this fact:
With the joys and blessings of bringing God consciousness to Earth, also come sacrifices.
We need to tell them that, because they're about to get to the part where they see that there are sacrifices involved.
At first it seems like a pure joy, this spontaneous showing up of celestial beings. You get to speak with God, cooperate with God, be God's instrument. But if you are going to be God's instrument, there are also sacrifices you need to make. For example, if you are surrendered to what God wants to do right now, you don't get to do what you want when you want.
David: Yeah. You're right. And at this point, the people are stretched as far as they can stretch between the ego world and the spirit world. If they don't retract some of the ego investment, the whole thing will become ridiculous and impossible.
The people are discovering this now, because they are trying to act like regular self-oriented people in some ways, even while they're bringing tremendous blessings to everyone.
Jesus: Yeah, and that needs to go. If they're going to bring God to earth, it's time for them to really start transcending their egos, and being mature people.
I told a story, back when I was here before: A man finds a beautiful, gorgeous pearl, and he goes and sells everything so that he can buy that pearl. The pearl is the Kingdom of Heaven. Now, the people here have been shown something of what Heaven is like. But they must be willing to sell everything if they really want the Kingdom of Heaven: their preferences, their personal ways and habits, their every-moment-everyday selfish desires. They need to be willing to let those go, or else they cannot -- and I repeat, cannot -- have the Kingdom of Heaven. That is the price. It will not go down. And it will not change.
David: Yeah. They're not putting it on a half-off bargain-day sale.
Jesus: Never. So, if they want to cling to their egoic preferences, ways of living, selfish desires, if they must have it their way, they will not have the Kingdom of Heaven.
David: Yes. That's a clear, statement. Definitive.
When David gets a potent insight or message like that, his impulse is to share it right away. As soon as he and Jesus were finished talking, David called a meeting. He spoke to us about how it is time for us to stop being so preferential, and start transcending our egos and our preferences. It's time to be all about love, instead of all about what we want. He spoke so beautifully, with such heart and understanding and care, I was filled with passion for the things he said, and so were the others.
It is amazing to live with David. So much happens every day. Whatever David does, he always brings huge passion and feeling to it, huge intensity. And he exhibits such freedom of spirit. So much humor, so much love.
And his attention for others is so beautiful. His attention for me is so beautiful. His acknowledgment of who I am is wonderful. Every moment I am with him, I feel known, seen. I feel like it's so easy to be who I am. It's easy to feel overflowing with love and sweetness. It's easy to laugh. It's easy to know, to feel, to sense what is true about life and people and feelings. It's so easy to relax.
A perfect mess
Transcript of part of a conversation David had with various human and celestial friends
David: The mind cannot calculate reality. I look at the beauty all around, and it's driving me mad! The entire Universe is attacking my sanity! I cannot calculate it on my calculator. It's too huge. It's too good. [Tears appear on David's face.]
Hafiz: Oh, the heavens cry with you, Bhava.
David: It's like you sit there for days counting, counting your wealth. Coin after coin. You make a pile like this. [He uses his hand to depict a very tall pile.] You're beginning to feel incredibly wealthy, and then you realize: it's 50 feet deep, and 100 miles wide -- you can't count that!
Elohim: You are perfect.
David: The way You've done it is gorgeous. It's incredible. It shows unspeakable artistry.
I see the beauty, and it just goes out to infinity. Oh God! And the intention of God in the grass, I saw it yesterday. The grass, giving itself to the sun, to the rain. You know. Very game! So much integrity! "I shall grow. I shall give myself to the sun. I love the sun. I appreciate the rain." I saw that in the grass. I saw that in the trees. And I went, "Oh my God, look at these guys. They are perfect examples of what to do. They are so loyal, so true." Oh man, it drives me nuts!
I'm overtaxed by Reality. It's incredible. And it can't be estimated. God, man! I'm telling you! I'm a hopeless wreck. I want to calculate it. I want to describe it. I want to go around and show them God's kingdom. Do you see?
Hafiz: Yes, Bhava.
David: I'm telling you, it's driving me to distraction. It's driving me nuts. People are going to take me to be a goddamned idiot.
I want to create a teaching that would be tolerable to a sane human individual; one that is appreciative of all of life, of God, of them. That would be a different kind of teaching than what we've generally seen.
Sara: You live that, David. You have lived it all your life.
Asha: You embody that large, appreciative embrace.
David: Please, this is not a reference to me -- it's a reference to Reality.
Asha: I know, that's not what you're trying to draw attention to. You're trying to point to something.
David: It might only be a sentence worth of dharma, I'm not really sure what such a dharma would look like.
Asha: What you just said was great.
[David starts crying because he is so moved by God and the beauty of everything.]
David: I'm absolutely a total mess. There's no excuse.
Sara: No, you are perfect as you are.
Fran: If you're a perfect mess, then I think we'd all like to be that.
Mati: Unhinged is a good way.
Fran: Well, whatever you are, or feel you are, we love you.
David: Thank you, I love you back. That I can manage. I manage to love you back.
"My heart is naked"
Dyana: Today was another wonderful, amazing day. My relationship with Hafiz is growing, and he is helping me flow in it and relax in him. Here is an e-mail he sent me this morning:
Good Morning, Beloved.
The night has shiny eyes,
So that's how the day started, and the rest was an utter whirlwind of emotion and delight . . ..
In the evening, we all came to dinner. I sat at the opposite end of the table facing Ewa, and all of a sudden Hafiz was there giving me his full attention. I didn't know what to do and felt quite self-conscious. He simply said my name and invited me to have dinner with him. Oh my!
We tried to eat while we talked. That didn't work so well, but we had a very good visit. We talked about the relationships in the house and how much people needed love and support. It was wonderful.
"The power of your love"
Dinari: We had just finished dinner when Ewa walked in as Rabia and sat down at the table. I was the last person there, so I decided to stay and keep her company. She asked me how Pada and I were doing. I told her that I've seen facets of him I've never seen before -- his innocence, his purity. It's beautiful!
She said, "You see the power you have? The power of your love."
It was then that I understood more deeply the truth of "love is for the beloved." Despite the insecurities I may feel, my love is literally doing Pada's heart good. He is blossoming into the beautiful man he is.
"Thank you for helping me incarnate"
Letter from Rabia to David
Thank you for helping me incarnate. It's nice to be here. I like the weight of a hoe when it drills the earth. I like the power of human hands. The dirt. The kitchen and the kitchen tools. Fred (our friend) told me one day when I rolled the flatbread: "Be gentle. Let the tool do the work." Ah! It's like learning to live once again. Once again.
What you said the other day: the Lover pressing on you. Beautiful. The Love IS pressing. Hello Beloved! I am here. I am announcing myself to you. I love you. The Love wants to love, through us, with us. Through our hands, through our tools. Our words and our bodies. All for All. One for One. I for you. You for I.
Gift of the cards from David and company
Transcript of part of a conversation
It's part of David's everyday experience to sit with the Celestials and consider how to serve the world. This is just one of many conversations that happened this week, about the humanity and its needs.
David: I'd like to make a deck of cards. [David smiles thoughtfully.] I want to make a deck of cards -- each one with a beautiful and useful statement of truth. You know. It doesn't have to be fifty-two cards, it could be twelve cards.
Sara: Wow! That's a great idea.
David: And they should be pretty, pretty, pretty. Huh? Do you think?
Sara: Oh yes! People love the beauty.
David: Yeah, it reminds them of Mother, it reminds them of God, it reminds them of Goodness.
Jesus: Oh, brother! What a gift! That will be a great gift! Truth cards.
David: Yeah, it'd be sweet. The things to remember, you know.
It must be one of the most intense movements in the soul -- that you are always suffering that your beloved is going on some sort of journey, or prodigal errand, and you always want to send them off with a few of your precious words. You feel so strongly that, as a parent, you need to give them a little care package that contains everything you wish for them, everything you love, everything they could love and be satisfied with. "Please, take these things, and go your way in peace." [David tears up.]
Hafiz: Yes, Bhava, you have the heart of the Father that would equip the children with all they need.
David: Yeah, you can't help but watch them walk down the road, but you can have the satisfaction, "I gave them what they need." That is really it for me.
Oh! [David looks to the heavens and prays.] Give me strength that I may do this thing correctly.
Jesus: You will be given it, brother. Everything you need. Everything.
David: The kids. The beautiful ones. The kids. The beautiful ones. Their greatness.
Jesus: I know. I know.
David: Oh man, another project. Okay. If you had twelve things to say, or twenty, or whatever it was, what would you say? What would you point to? Divine obedience is one thing.
Jesus: Each other, togetherness.
David: Yeah, each other, togetherness.
David: Integrity. Yes. And close to that must be identity, mustn't it? "Who are you?" "Who am I?"
Hafiz: Responsibility for the beloved.
David: Responsibility. And love, of course!
Sara: Oh yes.
David: Surrender, going with the wind.
Jesus: Validating their passion. That is another one. The part of them that would cry that this is not enough, and would push out, into a bigger life.
David: Excellent! Yes! That's worth a lot. Passion. And also loyalty. Dependence. Depend-ability -- the ability to depend.
Jesus: Yes, to somehow show that the feelings and sensitivities and fragilities and needs of a human being are good, and it is not an advantage to be without them, not an advantage to suppress them.
David: Yes, and even the coolest people in Heaven cry.
Jesus: Especially the coolest. [Jesus smiles.]
David: [laughs] Okay, brothers. I should really go to bed.
Jesus: Good night, brother.
David: Good night, brothers.
Hafiz: Good night. Thank you.
David: It's a pleasure. We've got a good plan, guys. We'll work it through. You guys are bringing great things to life here! This is going to be good, don't you think?
She will come when you call
The Celestials have been a part of our life for some time now, but for many, it's taken a while to get comfortable with calling on them, asking for them, talking to them one on one. In this story, Dinari takes a bold step, and decides to initiate an interaction with Rabia.
Dinari: Today at the end of the workday, I finally worked up the courage to address Rabia directly instead of Ewa. "Rabia," I said. She turned to me from her desk, and was clearly Rabia responding to my calling her. A huge, strong presence. I finally got it. I mean, I knew it before, but I was still too chicken to initiate an interaction with her. I finally got it. She will come when you call! She will come when you call! And here she is! Full of love for me personally. And so breathtakingly beautiful, I knew I was in heaven right there with her. Wow! Such beauty!
David wants everyone to know how very available to us God is. Here is a piece of a song he wrote for the Goddess, in all Her forms:
Asha: Today, Phil (our friend) was with David in the dining room. They were considering how to build something David had designed. David stopped to think, and got on expression on his face that is very characteristic of him. It was full of intensity and concentration, and yet so innocent and free and child-like. Phil was looking at David, a smile growing on his face. Suddenly he laughed happily and said, "You're freakin' adorable!"
That's how I feel all the time when I see David. The huge, uninhibited emotions that you can see so easily on his face, in his bodily gestures, etc. The energy that exudes from him, the sweetness, the passion, the humor, the candor. It all undoes me. He is so good.
The real Jesus
Sara: A couple of days ago David got a huge inspiration to tell the world about "the real Jesus" -- the man he knows so intimately, who is so different from the popular public images of him as a Godly figure who sits on a throne to the right of his Father, or a meek, mild-mannered shepherd and lover of baby lambs. The real Jesus is so much more approachable and human; so simple and innocent; so loyal and true; so huge yet understated.
Immediately, with his characteristic enthusiasm, David started writing possible introductions to Jesus (who he calls "Ray"), planning how he'd present him. Then, in his typical fashion, David called the community together and ecstatically described his experience of Ray to the group, pouring out from his heart all he has seen and felt in relating to Ray. It was a wonderful talk.
Afterward, David lingered in the Great Room with Asha. Everyone else was downstairs. After a few moments, though, David ran downstairs looking for me. "Come quickly," he said. I'm talking to Ray in the Great Room and I want you to film it." I ran upstairs after him and positioned myself behind the camera, videotaping this beautiful conversation in which Jesus added his own two cents about the real reason he has such a reputation for compassion among those who know him.
Dinner with Hafiz
Ewa: At dinner tonight, Sara started talking about Hafiz and how happy she was that David has such a great friend in him. She turned to me, giving Hafiz her gratitude directly, and he responded very powerfully, appearing at the table through me. It was his first meeting with a bigger group of people.
Transcript of part of the conversation:
Francine: It's still hard for me. The other night I was thinking, if I were to try to tell someone what's going on here, they wouldn't believe me. And I'm not sure I believe me. There's a part of me that can't quite totally... you know what I mean?
Hafiz: Yes. Yes. It's not wrong at all. There is a reality to it that transcends the human mind, the mortal mind.
Francine: It certainly transcends my mind. And it transcends my ideas. And that's what David's trying to help me to let go of -- the ideas I have that limit me. Especially the ones that limit my identification.
Hafiz: Yes. Yes. Oh, Francine, you are huge. You are more of God than you realize. You manifest Divinity without even knowing it. You are being the Goddess Herself in your motherly love for everything, for everyone. You are talking as God and being God without even suspecting it.
Francine: Well, good! I'm glad that that's happening.
Hafiz: It is. It is.
Carolyn: It is happening.
Francine: Yeah, I have ideas like, if I'm not thinking about God all the time, then I'm not with Him. And lately I'm more aware that that's not really true, that I'm with God way more than I tend to think. I guess what David's doing is trying to release me from my lower mind presumptions so that I can just be in what you are describing, experience it fully.
Hafiz: When you let yourself flow with the needs of the others, with your natural impulses, with your instincts as the Mother, as a woman, then you are being God.
Francine: Oh, I see. Oh, that was very clear. Thank you.
"You are carrying around this desire for the Beloved.
Hafiz takes David out to lunch
Ewa: This morning I felt Hafiz so strongly within me; I felt an irresistible push to do something for David. I called him and Hafiz invited David to go out together, "to see our people," as he said. David was happy, and they agreed on a time.
When David showed up, Hafiz was ready for him, filling my body stronger than ever. The whole outing was very emotional. David was deeply touched by the fact that he has Hafiz for a friend. They talked about the beauty of God, the wonders happening in David's life, the tragedy of how people have deserted themselves. Hafiz was right there with David in his feelings about these things. I felt how David's huge spirit does not find its match on Earth, and how appropriate it is for him to have enlightened friends from Heaven. I got to know David so much better, because Hafiz provided more room for him to feel and be himself. The emotions of David and the mutual appreciation and understanding between them was truly heavenly.
A sweet walk
Dyana: After work, Hafiz and I went on a walk. It was sweet and awkward. We have to get to a comfort level in the relationship that will make it easier to hang out together.
I told Hafiz that I wish I knew what he looks like. He told me that in Heaven, he can change into whatever is needed for who he is relating to. It sounded a lot like how David will morph and change in his expression to be just what is needed for the person he's talking to.
The walk, holding hands -- that's a little strange sometimes -- appreciating each other. He asked me to tell him anything that was bothering me.
Oh, he loves each one of us so much. I feel that my words are insufficient to convey his beautiful personality, lightness of being, and beautiful handling of people.
Curls after the rain
Mati: David gave us an incredible talk this morning. He talked about the way that people try to specialize and only want to focus on a small part of life, but that is unreal. Like being in love with a corner of the Mona Lisa. He said that people do that even when they focus on Godhead, without paying attention to the beautiful details of life and people.
Excerpt from the talk:
David: A great mystic will go, "I wish to embrace the entire Substratum of Existence, the Unmanifest Reality." To that I would say, "Great. But please speak into the microphone: what's your opinion on curls? Do you have a dharma for curls? And what about curls after the rain?"
The Universe, both as a whole and in all its parts, is an expression of perfection. Real love would embrace everything. It would choose every individual thing. That might seem indiscriminant, but in those choices, there are values -- the value is on goodness, unswervingly.
You've got to nail the guy on the curl issue. A man will call the Unmanifest God infinity, he'll say that's all there is -- but if it's an exclusive infinity he's referring to, don't be fooled. And don't let him do that to God. He must offer his opinion on curls before one can be completely satisfied with his teaching, his path, his devotion.
Don't get me wrong; this is not to dismiss the value of the Unmanifest Infinity. In fact, the Unmanifest Infinity is a perfect background for curls. It sort of sets them off nicely, you know!
David has always been teaching us to embrace all of life, and not to get overly focused on this or that. He is always interested in everyone being who they are, loving everyone, loving God.
Hafiz is falling in love with David
Ewa: Today I visited with David. Hafiz came and they sat together in a soft bubble of love, just enjoying a conversation. David asked the question: "Is it better to break and be saved, and break again and be saved again, or just be saved permanently?"
Hafiz said: "There is something to be said for breaking -- the joy of being saved."
David said: "And, there is something to be said against pain."
"Oh yes," Hafiz agreed.
David said: "I would like to keep the fragility that is there."
Hafiz answered: "You don't need to be in pain to be fragile. Whenever you call on God, whenever you feel how much you love and need God, or people for that matter, you are fragile."
David said: "Yes, I feel that. I feel that with the Elohim, the Goddess, Jesus, you." The softness of love between David and Hafiz was immense.
David said: "Gentle soul. I will treat you right," and he put his hand close to Hafiz's face.
This evening, when I came up to Anam Cara, I felt Hafiz. I was washing dishes as Hafiz. He felt like a teenager in love, with the same kind of shyness and fragility. Looking at the moon, and dreaming about the beloved. It was clear to me: Hafiz is falling in love with David.
You have me forever
Transcript of part of a conversation between David and Hafiz
David: ...I'm falling in love, head over heels. This is my experience of the whole thing -- ruin, doom, knowing life will never be the same; the end of life as we know it; the beginning of a new life, a new lease on life; reality. All there is is this love, this recognition, this madness, this commitment. Destiny. It's no parlor game.
Hafiz: It is mutual, David. The sense of collapsing, having your life be changed, attachment, dependency, all of it. My heart shot new leaves when I got to know you, and new flowers.
David: Yeah, mine did the same. It's God's gift to Himself.
Hafiz: It is, and those leaves and flowers feel like they need to be cut and given. And that is a sense of doom, in a certain way.
David: Yeah. That is. That's really great, brother. Indeed.
Hafiz: It's what I have for you.
David: That is really good. You've got me forever, brother. I'm with you.
Hafiz: You have me, too.
"We will feed you"
Letter from Heaven
We have watched you all along. We have seen all your trials, all your joys, all your sorrows. We stayed with you, and have been here all along.
We have always wanted to give you everything that the world will not give you. And, in good time, We will.
The world would not validate you, because it cannot. Not until it accepts its own Heart; but We will validate you.
The world would not honor any man or woman of God. At least, not while they are here. Or, if they do "honor" them, their honor is poison, that the saint has to drink and transcend. But We will honor you truly, and We do.
The world is empty. We will fill you.
The world is loveless. We will love you.
The world is full of stupidity. We will talk to you with infinite intelligence.
The world does not often create wonders that please the heart and stop the mind. We will show you infinite wonders.
The world is dull. We will excite you.
The world does not nurture. We will nurture you.
The people of the world don't know how to be good friends. We will be your friends, lovers. We will.
We love you, David. We will feed you the food that you missed for so long, since you have been on this desolate planet. We will feed you.
Your cosmic future is secure, Bhava, in every way. You will have a place to put your feet down. You will have people to walk with, talk with. You will have things to do. You are loved.
You are not lost, David. Although you feel lost, at times. There is a plan for you. There is a place for you. Your life is watched closely. You are held dearly. You have a home. You have friends. You have lovers.
And we are pressing on you now, Bhava. We are pressing on the earth, on the air, on your students. We see a door, we see a crack. Like water, We will press against the crack. It has weakened the great walls that have kept us from rushing in. Rushing into your life from every direction. We will push through. We are here. We are here. We are here. And We are keen to take care of you, to show you Ourselves, to dance with and for you, to talk to you, to remind you, to love you. We are here. And you can count on Us to be here. We love you.